Confucius says that:

Men who put cream in tart, not always a baker.
Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus.
He who let woman on top is fucking up.
People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.
Man with hands in pockets feel cocky all day.
Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment gets no new-key.
Woman who fly upside-down have crack-up.
Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
Man who lay woman on ground, gets peace on earth.
Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Woman who spend much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
Man with holes in pockets feels cocky all day.
Man who snatch kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Man who fights wife all day gets no piece at night.
He who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs.
He who plays with self, pulls boner.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem, wake up with solution in hand.
Virgin like balloon--one prick--all gone.
Girl who douches with vinegar walks around with sour puss.
Girls should not marry basketball players--they dribble before they shoot.
Man with athletic finger, make broad jump.
Man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
Baby conceived in car with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed!
Sex on beach is like american beer... fucking near water!!!!
Man walking through swing doors is going to Bankok.
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Man who cut fart in church have to sit in own pew.
Baseball all wrong--man with four balls cannot walk.
Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.
Woman who springs on springs this spring gets offspring next spring.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, smart man spread limb.
Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Girl who marries man named Richard, must kiss Dick.
Woman with blonde hair may have black hair by crackie.
Man put in dog-house by wife end up in cat-house.
Man who sleep with itchy rear wake with smelly fingers.
Man who push piano down mine shaft get A flat minor.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
He who eats many prunes sit on toilet many moons.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
It take square ass to shit brick.
To make egg roll, push it.
Woman who put detergent on top shelf... jump for Joy.
Homo who sit on dynamite get bang out of it.
Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.
Hamsters which crawl into wrong spot get shit faced.
Boy and girl who go camping together have naughty intent.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.

BRO'HERN (Electronics Engineer)