I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. -- _A Bit of Fry and Laurie_ A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating. -- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. --Oscar Wilde What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. -- Richard Harkness, _The New York Times_, 1960 Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them." With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. -- Ransom K. Ferm Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. It is possible for your mind to be so open that your brain falls out. The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway. -- Andrew Tannenbaum We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it, and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again--and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. -- Mark Twain The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. -- From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the Oct. 24th issue of National Review There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate Life in a vacuum sucks. The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. -- Dave Barry I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers--and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls. -- Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland) When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. 668: The Neighbor of the Beast Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. -- Emo Phillips You catch more flies with honey than you do with napalm -- but the napalm really gets people's attention. - Meredith Tanner Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - John Benfield --- forwarded message From GreenawayJ@Tango-VS1.hanscom.af.mil Thu Dec 7 12:00:57 1995 From Shawn Ferguson@SCXP@66sptg-sc, on 12/6/95 9:25 AM: From jeffrey smyth@systems tech@csc, on 12/6/95 9:22 AM: